A Migos song once said:
Versace, Versace, Versace, Versace
Versace, Versace, Versace, Versace
Versace, Versace Versace, Versace Versace
Versace, Versace Versace, Versace Versace.
Rappers love Italian fashion (see chart below), which means Gucci Man’s next mixtape probably will highlight a few of the trends we saw in Milan this week.
I, Larry in Burberry, personally prefer Toby Keith to Chief Keef, but that doesn’t mean I don’t find Nicki Minaj’s fashion lyrics poetic after a few Budweisers.
Yo I’m a need a couple of dem benz’s -eses
I be out in China spendin yen’s -eses
Gucci on my lenses -es
Anyway, there is much to discuss from Milan Fashion Week. Flirtation gave way to fortification, Dolce & Gabbana made us consider conservation and Kendall Jenner and the Hadids deserve a vacation.
Onto the recap.
Jeremy Scott showed us his package(s)
Jeremy Scott’s Moschino show was trash. Literally. There was dresses made of bubble wrap, trash can hats and models wearing boxes and dry cleaning hangars on their head.
There was so much craziness in his show it made me think Jeremy Scott might be brothers with Michael Scott from The Office. Here’s what I imagine Michael would have said about some of Jeremy’s looks.
A$AP Rocky was Gucci in the front row
It’s great to see A$AP showing signs of personal growth. Two years ago he was saying bad bitches were his fucking problem, now he’s front row at Milan Fashion Week surrounded by the highest concentration of bad bitches on the planet supporting his lady Kendall. Talk about facing your problems head on. Proud of you A$AP.
It was possibly Donatella Versace’s last show
While Bruno Mars would like to toss Versace on the floor, I’d prefer to hold Donatella up on a pedestal. She’s hinted its her last show, and if it was, it served as a powerful final mission statement.
“This is a collection about the power of women, and women who know how to use their power,” Versace told Vogue. “It is a call for unity, and the strength that comes from positivity and hope.”
Fun fact: Donatella Versace was young Larry in Burberry’s second favorite designer because her first name was so close to my favorite ninja turtle.
Behold, Donatello Versace. Turtle Power.
My favorite look came from Salvatore Ferragamo
Ferragamo’s show was criticized for not having enough Salvatore soul, but I couldn’t disagree more. I see those spaghetti straps Salvatore and know what you were trying to say. Clearly the critics spewing this nonsense never studied abroad. Beyond the 15 pasta pounds and grappa, those late study abroad nights were all about developing soul.
Although the spaghetti straps were right in their face (and Leonardo Da Vinci’s “The Last Supper” is showcased minutes away), these critics couldn’t see the forest from the trees. Take a closer look at the model above. The LBD is classy and sophisticated, but those earrings, hair style and look in her eye show us a mischievous maturity and depth of soul found only in the finest DOCG-certified Chianti Classicos. Ummmm, Ciao?
The pussy hat hit the runway
If you think about it, most regular winter hats kind of look like a penis, so beyond the political statement (Angela Missoni’s show was a reaction to her disappointment that the spirit of last month’s marches did not reach Milan), it’s nice to provide some different hat-shape-options.
That variety really comes in handy if you’re already wearing one of Ke$ha’s penis necklaces and want to diversify your overall look.
Gigi, Bella and Kendall Jenner are putting in WORK
They’ve been in practically every show from New York to London to Milan. Which is why it makes sense that at the end of the Moschino show, Gigi Hadid’s heel was exhausted and shattered. A front-row Fergie met her halfway and picked up the pieces. This is all to say modelling is hard (trust me, I know),
and to provide a models falling intermission!
Dolce & Gabbana & bloggers oh my!
Dolce had fashion bloggers and other social media influencers walk in their show.
They also featured a lot of polar bears. Leave it to polar bears to keep the runway haute while global warming destroys their habitat. #Paris2020
One fashion blogger who didn’t walk in the show was Damsel in Dior. She had just returned from a Cabo/Riviera Maya vacation. A ten-day vacation during fashion week season. Missed all the shows. That’s like Mario Batali going on a diet during restaurant week. Jacey, you said Damsel in Dior is symbolic of a lifestyle of never feeling like a Damsel in Distress. Just so you know, that’s exactly how I’ve felt over the past three weeks with you not here to help me make sense of this season’s latest sick statement pieces to build around. Phew. Had to get that off my chest. Hope you had fun on your vacation.
Jamie Foxx and Pam Anderson also sat front row at Dolce
I’m so curious about this. What an amazing show to be at. Looks so spectacular Ray Charles could appreciate them.
As is tradition, we’re going to end this week’s recap with a few quotes that eloquently sum up the overall feel of Milan Fashion Week.
“I love anyone who breaks the rules, and musicians always break the rules – in an aggressive way.”
~ Donatella Versace
“Shoes and shirt Versace
your bitch want in on my pockets
She ask me why my drawers silk
I told that bitch Versace”
Addio! Grazie for reading. Off to Paris.