Phew, what a week.
Kanye started his show on time. Gigi and Bella Hadid their thing. Tyga was his typical supportive self. Ralph Lauren made his show a reprieve from the blizzard with 100,000 white orchids. STREET STYLE.
Brave risks were taken, inspirational muses revealed and gender stereotypes challenged.
Alexander Wang. Oscar De La Renta. Thomas Wylde. Taoray Wang. Xuly Bet. Naeem Khan. Vera Wang and other people with beautiful fake names set the runways and Snapchat on fire. (If I called myself Larry in Burberry I might get to be one of the editors posh enough to get into one of these shows.)
Anyway, here were the highlights from a guy who once hung out with Rebecca Minkoff.
Jeremy “Hot Mug Shot Guy” Meeks made his modeling debut
By all indications, he needs to get another tear drop tattoo on his face, because he murdered the catwalk. He has to be one of ten or less people in history who look better in their mug shot than in every day life.
Mr. mug shot apparently had multiple modeling offers while in prison (two years for a weapon charge). How did this go over with the other inmates?
YEEZY Season 5
Everyone loves talking about Kanye and the Kardashians/Jenners at fashion week. The notable news for common folk coming out of YEEZY Season 5 was the unveiling of the YEEZY Calabasas Runner.
Sneakerheads were not impressed, saying they looked like nursing home shoes. This may be true, but it made me happy for my elders. There’s no better time to be a grandpa. Between these and the Chef Currys from last year, grandpas have the sassiest and most relevant shoes to choose from in history. They get to look fresh while still calling their grandson’s soft for not being able to change a tire while they fought in a war. Nursing home employees also better be on notice. There’s already a lot of sneaky bumping and grinding going on at nursing homes, but when these Yeezys drop, sex at Shady Acres is going to a whole ‘nother level.
Raf Simons First Show for Calvin Klein
Raf Simons is a Belgian fashion designer and was creative director for Christian Dior from 2012-2015. This show was a big deal for Vogue and Vanity Fair, but it was perplexing to me for a different reason.
Calvin Klein puts my boxer briefs in a knot. I don’t understand. They do all these cool sexy ad campaigns with the hottest models of the day and have these elaborate fashion shows with fancy creative directors, but when I stroll through the Calvin Klein department at Macy’s, all I feel is sadness. Dusty, linty, wrinkly, ill-fitting sadness. Can we get a little middle ground please Calvin?
Alexander Wang Likes After Parties
Fashion designers are just like us! Alexander Wang is notorious for throwing lavish after parties following his NYFW shows. In the past, he’s held a rave at a food court, had McDonald’s and 7/11 Slurpees in an empty warehouse and even lost his wallet at one in 2015.
He didn’t have an after party this year, but made sure his “No After Party” show still had plenty of kegs.
I like Mr. Wang’s style (And his new line is pretty saucy too. You can already buy the tights here.)
The Blair Waldorf Look is Making a Comeback
This just makes me happy. xoxo.
Thom Browne Impressed Everyone
The New York Times said the best show of the week was Thom Browne’s, but that might be faux news.
The best fashion show is definitely on the street. Always has been, and always will be
Since it was cold in NY, that fashion show on the street this year consisted of insanely baggy jackets, shawls, frocks, picnic blankets and other things I don’t know how to describe. Judging from all the photo slideshows, guys have about 1/100th of the more forgiving options as the ladies. There should be more stylish baggy clothes for guys. Hellooooooo opportunity. This should be your wheelhouse Michael Kors. #BeyondTheTurtleneck2018
Don’t Waste Your Time on Girls in Marc Jacobs Hats, They Tend to be Very Proper
Yeah? Well, the proper girl in the hat just eye-fucked the shit out of me.
The Trends We All Can Wear
According to Refinery29 (which was very helpful to this recap), rib high pants, all-denim everything and men’s style work suits and orange fluffy statement coats will be in.
This woman scares me. She looks like she’s a radical Walmart-ist who will defend her rollbacks at any cost.
Well, there you have it folks. Let all that sink in, because fashion will affect you.
You think this has nothing to do with you? You go to your closet and you select… I don’t know… that lumpy blue sweater, for instance because you’re trying to tell the world that you take yourself too seriously to care about what you put on your back. But what you don’t know is that that sweater is not just blue, it’s not turquoise. It’s not lapis. It’s actually cerulean. And you’re also blithely unaware of the fact that in 2002, Oscar de la Renta did a collection of cerulean gowns. And then I think it was Yves Saint Laurent… wasn’t it who showed cerulean military jackets? I think we need a jacket here. And then cerulean quickly showed up in the collections of eight different designers. And then it, uh, filtered down through the department stores and then trickled on down into some tragic Casual Corner where you, no doubt, fished it out of some clearance bin. However, that blue represents millions of dollars and countless jobs and it’s sort of comical how you think that you’ve made a choice that exempts you from the fashion industry when, in fact, you’re wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room from a pile of stuff.