Larry in Burberry is Beside the Weather’s fashion correspondent. He analyzes fashion trends for common wearers of clothes.
Hi all. Larry here. I wanted to share an email exchange I had recently with Kirsten Kamerman, a food blogger at Kitchen Curious. I hope it can simultaneously help you stay up to date on the arts’ hottest news makers (Kim and Kanye), empower you to lovingly tell your friends what to wear or inspire you with New York Fashion Week only a few weeks away.
Original Email Addressed to Larry (published with permission)
Inspired by an email Kanye wrote Kim recently telling her to throw away ALL her big sunglasses and only wear tiny sunglasses, I feel compelled to tell you my true feelings about your fashion. Kanye’s email included thousands of photos of tiny 90’s, Neo in the Matrix-style sunglasses (my description, not his) for her to use as inspiration.
Similarly, I’ve included some inspo for you below. Let’s begin.
JNCO jeans are OUT. It is time to get rid of ALL of your wide legged pants!!! As we saw at London Fashion Week Men’s 2018 is all about tye-dye, golf chic, and soft fabrics.
I’m sending my stylist to bring you the finest hand dyed tops, argyle prints, and luxurious soft fabrics – velvets, corduroy. THROW AWAY ALL YOUR OTHER PANTS! SEE INSPIRATION.
If all else fails, VINTAGE, VINTAGE, VINTAGE. Old concert tees are my fave. The pap caught me in this on my way to Bourbon Trail.
I say this all with love because I want you out there looking fly when you’re sitting in the front row of the Balmain show next to Anna Wintour.
P.S. Most of your fashion choices are always on point, but there have been moments when your fashion risks have become fashion fails. Kanye’s email inspired me to want more for my dear friend. I had to tell you the changes you must make. Kim has seemed to take the email well as seen by the latest paparazzi pics.
I can only hope you’ll be as receptive.
P.P.S. Kanye was right. These tiny ’90’s glasses are IN. They even have some fresh ones at the airport.
Larry’s Email Response
Thanks for this email Kirsten. Anyone who wears a fedora instead of a hair net on their food blog bio is someone’s fashion advice I can listen to.
I’ve taken your email to heart.
This is literally what I was wearing after I rolled out of bed and got coffee this morning. (It was a long night watching The Assassination of Gianni Versace.)
To quote a famous meme:
Also, here are a few shots the paparazzi candidly caught of me while waiting for the bus last weekend after a Gucci-spending spree.
If The Masters polo, Tiger Woods is back shades and plaid, it’s harder-to-fit-in-these-slim-fits-than-win-the-Masters-at-age-46 Jack Nicklaus-style plaid trousers don’t say golf chic, I don’t know what does. Soft fabrics? If a lady touched Larry’s velvet jacket on molly, streets and sanitation would have to bring out the biggest mop Rahm Emanuel’s got to clean up that mess before it turned to ice and made Chicago’s streets even more dangerous than they already are. Sorry. Naughty, Larry. Fashion just makes me feel dangerous. Fashion is my molly.
And apologies for blocking your face on your bus bench ad Walter, but you got some nice free impressions in this shot, so expect some extra sales by association.
VINTAGE you say?!
Boom. Behold the best starter jacket to ever dominate recess. The sun can’t help but shine on this look. I also finally got a fox tail after seeing Rich Homie Quan rock one at Lollapalooza 2014 – which doubles as a swaggy accent piece and a practical doggy playtime toy (fashion and function always).
The Caterpillar hat is worn here to celebrate Larry’s grandfather who actually used Caterpillar ‘dozers on his farm and didn’t just wear the CAT/Carhartt overalls and winter hats to try and look like a hipster and get laid at their local dive bar.
Damn, it feels good to be hitting my literal stride. Similar to Kim with Kanye, I’ve listened to your advice and it’s clearly paying dividends.
I appreciate you wanting the best for me, Kirsten.
In the same spirit, is their any way to make your delicious Cashew Butternut Squash Soup heartier and less smooth? Maybe it’s just me, but I spilled some on my scarf.
Larry in Burberry